This memorial website was created in the memory of our precious Brooklynne Grace Traina. Who was born in Medford, Oregon on April 18, 2007 and went to be with the lord June 28, 2009. She was 26 months old. We will remember her forever.
"Thru God's grace you were ours for a little while. Now you live in everlasting light, forever God's precious little child. You will live on in our hearts, our thoughts, and everything we do, and at the end of each day we pray to God and thank him of the gift of you"
Not a minute goes by that I don't think of her beautiful face, her huge blue eyes, beautiful smile, contagious laugh and spunky attitude...... We love you so much baby. You are my heart.
I guess I'll start from the begining. Ryan and I met February 28. We had been together for a little over a year when I found out I was pregnant. I remember going to his work and telling him that the many tests I took were positive.... The only words he could get out was " Oh God". Then we sat there, in my car and hugged eachother for what seemed like hours. I, to say the least did not have a good pregnancy, I had kidney stones, terrible back pain, and gained 125lbs.... I was pretty miserable, and so was Ryan for that matter. He was such a trooper.
I went into labor April 16, and had our precious baby girl on April 18th. She was so beautiful, no hair, perfect skin, and big blue eyes.
From the moment we brought her home she was what you could call a perfect baby. She slept through the night, hardly cried, she loved her passy and pink princess blanket!!! She walked and crawled so early. She was always doing things that made us look at eachother and say, " WOW..... This is the best thing we have ever done". We loved being mommy and "mommy" ( she called Ryan mommy also) We were working on that though, she would call him dad when he wasn't there or if he turned his head. It was so cute!
She loved to be in the car especially in the driver seat pretending she was driving. She loved her 4-wheeler and bike, anything that could go she was all about it! She loved riding the big 4-wheeler with Grandpa all around his property. They would stop to pick flowers and tomatoes. That was their special time.
March 2009, we moved to our dream home on the out skirts of Eagle point. It was a great area, with wonderful neighbors. Ryan and I both had good jobs, things were so perfect. We actually were sitting on the couch one day , we looked at eachother and said "Look what we have been through, and look where we are now. This is exactly what we have always wanted" We couldn't have been happier.
I would take Brooklynne to the babysitter every morning before work, every morning we would stop, to look at the horses in a near by pasture. I would ask her, " Where are the horses?...What do they say?" Then I would ask her " do you want to go to Donna's this morning? (the babysitter)" she would get a huge smile on her face and say "YES MAMMA".
I would pick her up everyday after work. As I would knock on Donna's door, I would hear her say "mom, mom, mom" She would run up and give me the biggest hug, and pat me on the back. We would say our goodbyes to Donna and the rest of the kids, and head for home. A few days a week I would ask her if she wanted a hamburger or nuggets..... usually nuggets and frys :) Some days, since we didn't see Ryan alot during the week, we would swing by his work, bring him lunch, and spend his lunch hour with him. Brooklynne got SO excited when she saw him walk towards the car!!
Then when we would get home I would clean up, laundry, dishes, bathtime, so on. Brooklynne would usually chase our dog with her doll stroller, watch Dora (she loved cartoons) or destroy anything she could get her little hands on. She was always my little shadow! If she wasn't right behind me, I knew something was up! :) We would do bath time, read books, call dad at work so we could say our goodnights. Off to bed she would go, after big hugs and lots of kisses!!!
Ryan didn't get home until midnight during the weekdays. So everynight he would go in to check on her, give her a kiss and tell her he loved her. He would do the same to me. It never failed that Ryan would take his work clothes off, get cleaned up, grab a snack, and a little blonde head would peak around the corner at him, flash him a big smile and run up to him to cuddle. He would say " what-it-do-do-boo-boo"... She thought that was so funny. That was there special time together just dad and his Boo.
June 28, 2009, started like any other Sunday. We were relaxing around the house, playing a bit, cleaning up, and get ready for the up coming week. Our cousins daughter was having her 2nd Birthday party that day at a water park in Ashland. So we packed up and headed out around 11:45am. She slept a little on the way there, but only about 15 minutes. We met up with everyone, and the kids played there little hearts out. We left for home about 4pm. When we got home Brooklynne was so tired she was pretty much delirious. All three of us were wore out! We put Brooklynne to bed at 7pm. Not knowing that would be the last time we would ever put her to bed again. I fell asleep on our love seat and Ryan was watching TV on the couch right next to me. She got up out of bed a couple times, Ryan told her " Boo it's bedtime, you need your rest" She shook her head "OK" and went back to bed. He tucked her in, gave her a kiss, and said his final "Goodnight" to his baby girl.
Ryan glansed at the clock, it was 7:37pm, he felt his eyes get a bit heavy. Soon he joined me in drifting off to sleep. We both knew our family was safe and secure. I woke up, it must have been about 7:50pm or so, I KNEW, I just knew something was wrong. I didn't know what. Still to this day I don't know why I ran out side. As I ran out the door onto our patio, I turned the corner and their was our baby, floating face down in our pool. Wearing her little halloween PJ's. I jumped in, pulled her out, layed her down, and started CPR. The whole time screaming as loud as I could for Ryan, Or anyone that could hear me to help. Once I knew he couldn't hear me, and no one was coming. I picked her up in my arms and ran back into the house. I ran down the hall screaming call 911, call 911....0h God Ryan help! I remember the look on his face as he woke up, its a look I will never forget, no one should ever have to wake up to that. I layed her wet, limp body on the livingroom floor and continued CPR. We were trying our hardest to save her life.... all I wanted to hear was a cough......just cough for me baby, show me you are still there. During this time Ryan grabbed his phone, and we called 911. Right after that we had a knock at the door, it was a Volunteer Firefighter named Andrew. He came in asked her name, what happened, and how long she in the pool. We said Brooklynne, Brooklynne her name is Brooklynne...... I don't know how long she was in the pool... I don't know, oh my god I don't know. Than he started CPR. I remember he kept saying "Come on Brooklynne, Come on Brooklynne"...... During this time Ryan ran out side to flag down the fire truck and ambulance. As soon as they got there I remember my whole world started spinning, things started going in slow motion.... One of the police officers pushed me out to the front of our house, I remember thinking where's Ryan?? I was sitting on our front steps soaking wet, muddy, out of breath, and scared to death. I looked up, and every one of our neighbors were there, standing outside, crying. Then they wheeled our baby out of the house, she looked so little on that big gurney... she was wrapped in her "ABC" blanket, One of the fireman asked if we were ok to drive and to follow them to RVMC. We jumped in the truck and followed them, on what seemed like an endless drive. I called my dad, and Ryan's step mom on the way to the hospital. I wanted to know how long she could go without breathing and be ok? I kept asking, but none of the EMT's would tell me, so I figured they would. I remember hearing the horror in each of their voices. All I remember about that drive was trying to look in the back of that ambulance. Ryan and I kept saying to eachother, "she's strong, she'll make it" Oh God help her make it" ...."Oh God" She's gonna be ok, right? she's gonna be ok?"
We pulled up to RVMC, left the truck running and ran into the ER. "Where is she? Where is she? Whats going on? "WHERE IS OUR BABY?" At this point I don't know were Ryan went, but I ran through th ER doors, turned right, and saw 3 chaplins, the EMT's and all the fire fighters standing in and around trauma room #3. When I saw those chaplins my heart sank. At that point I think I knew, things were not going to be ok. As soon as they saw me, they had me sit down. A Fireman sat down in front of me with huge tears in his eyes. He told me they were pumping her blood and that they had given her cardiac meds. They are doing everything they can do for her. They had Ryan and I go sit in what seemed like the smallest room ever. All we could do was sit and wait. Soon family, friends, nurses, doctors, etc. came into the room....... Ryan's step mom was the one that told us...... "she didn't make it"...... we both screamed, I just wanted to wake up....This was a dream right? I remember saying no, no, no, no, no......Oh God, no. I couldn't wrap my mind around this. My baby, my little girl was gone. No, no, this isn't right, there is some mistake. She's ok.... She's ok.... Ryan was on his knees in front of me, we just sat there in eachothers arms. I remember him saying "our baby is gone Dar", "what are we going to do?" I kept thinking I didn't do CPR right!!! What if I woke up 5 minutes earlier, would she still be here? Why did we make her go to bed? Why did we get that pool? Why were we sleeping? Our life as we knew it was over. Ryan was the one that talked to the police. Through all his emotions he answered there questions. A little while later, he went into see her. I decided not to see her, I didn't want to remember her like that. No one else was in the room but him, and her little body. He walked over to her, kissed her cold, wet head, told her how sorry he was, and how much he loved her. After a while he opened the door to leave, He kissed her one last time and walked out the door. He felt so horrible after shutting the door, he felt he left her alone in there.
We walked through those ER doors hours earlier as parents. Now, we walked out two of the most devistated people on earth. We got in the back seat of my dads car and drove away. I remember feeling like we were forgetting something. We never went anywhere without her. Ryan and I just sat back there holding hands and crying. We made the decision not to go back to our home. There were to many memories there, and we just could not do it. My dad put us up in a Hotel for the next few days...... It's all such a huge blurr after that. I remember being asked what I thought were the worst questions." Do you guys want her cremated, or burried?", "where do you guys want her burried?", "what color casket?", "what clothes do you want her to be burried in?", "open or closed casket?", "where do you want the service?" Thanks to my mom and Ryan's mom the arrangements got taken care of.
Family and friends were around us 24-7, doing anything and everything they could to help us. They brought us clothes, food, whatever we needed they were there. They also moved all of our things out of our home, and into a storage unit. Our bed, clothes, dressers and our dog were moved to a room in Ryan's brothers house.
Not a day, hour, minute or a second goes by that we dont think of her. We replay that night over and over in our minds. wondering if we should have done something different. I cry every morning on the way to work, I cry at work. I drive by Donna's wanting to stop, so I can just pick her up. It has been 6 weeks now, it seems like years. She was the one thing in my life that I felt the most proud of. The one thing I did right. She still is. She will always be our little Boo-Boo. She will live forever in our hearts and will never be forgotten. I wish everyone could know how amazing she was! We all are better people for having known her. Those who knew her can honestly say they knew an angel.
I miss her so much I don't know how to live, how to wake up, how to sleep, how to function. How did I live before she was born? Ryan and I are both so lost.
We love you honey.... Please, somehow let dad and I know you are ok.
Thank you to all of our Family and wonderful friends for all your care, prayers and support. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love you all and could not have gotten through this without each of you.